i live in anticipation of my own broken heart...
i read these words recently (but can't remember from where, if you know, please share! i think it's from a book) in relation to parenting. children grow too quickly. when they go from baby to toddler we mourn the baby; from toddler to big boy we mourn the toddler; from big boy to an almost teen; we mourn the big boy; from the almost teen to the teen we mourn the almost teen. this is where i am... kai, in just a few months, will be, in his words, "officially a teen". he is so looking forward to it. i am too but not really.
where is my baby, my toddler, my big boy? i want to remember carrying him when he was sleepy and stroking my earlobe. i want to remember snuggling with him. i want to remember his little giggles. kai is now just half a centimeter away from being as tall as i am... he grows and grows and grows.
i was out with a friend, patrizia, recently and we talked about this. will it happen, will our children actually go away to university, will they marry someone else (kai used to tell me that he wanted to marry me), will they really leave us? it seems inconceivable, doesn't it, to just let them go? i already anticipate it's going to be hard and bittersweet.
when that time comes i hope he remembers that i loved him first, love him still, will love him always.
if you like, take a peek at some other parenting posts over the years: an edgy mother, messy motherhood, nine and a half, and tough love.
No comments:
Post a Comment