march / 2021

kai: hiking around hellasgården with his dad

march weekend pics: cats, art, and ricotta

a year into the pandemic and i think we are all feeling the way loki (above) looks. that's his grumpy face.

other than a belated anniversary spa weekend away (pics coming soon), we didn't do very much. i made ricotta from scratch, super easy! reread joan didion's blue nights. took alot of cat pics.

we also spent an evening at kai's school to view his graduating class' art exhibition. i am so happy with how it all turned out for him. he was super happy that two of his teachers asked to keep a couple of his art pieces. so nice, right? i have included some of his pieces here and if you would like to take a peek at his photographs, click here.

ready for tummy rubs

hope you had a more exciting march! although, cats, art and ricotta were very nice too.

some love from 6 year old kai

6 year old kai

tidying up recently, i came across a notebook filled with things that kai said when he was little. this one, from august 6, 2009, especially stood out, since 6 year old kai refers to his now 17 year old self. 

we had just returned from the okanagan, kai's favourite place to visit during the summers. our little family of three always had such a relaxing and fun time... swimming, shenanigans, and eating all the berries! and the summer fun was continuing at home, at douglas park, with an evening of performance in the park followed by a visit to the playground. 

on this day kai tells me,

"i think i'm going to fall in love with you, when i'm 17 years old." then again repeats, "i think i'm going to fall in love with you." nodding his head, "i will." and he gives me this beautiful smile. i couldn't help but kiss him.

it's been a difficult year for kai and i so when i came upon it, i got teary. we were always close and especially in the last six months i feel like i am not only losing him but that we are estranged. i don't get it, i have always been his parent and he my son. why is it different now?

i have felt a range of emotions. worthless. angry. exhausted. worried. fragile. sick. and the big one, heartbroken. it is draining, seeing slivers of hope that we'll be okay only for it to slip away. i am on edge, knots in my stomach, tense muscles. i try to rid the feeling from my body through a good cry, more times than i can count.

frequently, i lie awake at night and think how ashamed i feel failing as his parent, how hurt i am. i miss him everyday.

the day kai turned 17 years old

i just finished editing the pics from his 17th birthday and you can take a peek at this happy day here. and while there, take a peek at the other september 2020 posts. i think another visit to the carl edhls atelier, for some visual therapy, is needed. or maybe a night away like i did for my birthday, take a peek at our stay in sandhamn.

i have to believe we will be okay; come out on the other side stronger and closer. thanks for 'listening'.

stockholm weekend pics: connecting with nature

working on an art project about nature, we joined kai out in the woods where he captured his handmade models blending in with the environment. his pictures turned out really well :)

more and more, especially during this pandemic, we need nature to unwind and refill our energy. i think we breathe more deeply, it's definitely good for the body and soothes the soul. being outside makes us stronger and better to cope with the stresses of these days.

in cheryl strayed's "wild", she speaks of curing what ails us by putting ourselves in the way of beauty. i love this and couldn't agree more.

hope you are getting out in nature too! and speaking of nature, here are some links to our august nature getaways... 

a weekend away on the island of grinda

a weekend away on the island of väddö

oh, and i shouldn't forget our own little hidden gem, sicklasjön lake, just a walk down the forest path

and, i guess, i will add the post around södermalm because really, the water is just a street away

on a side note, i am caught up to the end of august on my blog posts, unto september when we celebrated kai's 17th birthday. stay tuned :)

travelogue: the ellery beach club in lidingö

ellery beach house is a retro-inspired hotel and beach club that opened in september 2020. located on the island of lidingö, it's rural landscape feels far away from the city yet just a 30 minute drive from home. it takes full advantage of it's picturesque setting of nature and water, close to the archipelago. 

the hotel actually reminds me of the desert oasis vibe of palm springs with it's cool interior feeling and atmosphere... think clashing prints, velvet and rattan materials. 

it has four heated swimming pools, two saunas, cabanas, and paddle courts (a mixture of tennis and squash) plus indoor games area with shuffle board and pool. we made the most of the swimming pools both on the day of arrival and again the morning we reluctantly left. a special mention to their bathrobes... the softest that will ever embrace you!

of its two restaurants, we ate at palmer's restaurant which serves delicious mediterranean flavours from israel, greece, and lebanon. lots of small dishes to share. after we devoured everything, i wanted to eat it all again, so good! sitting high up with views of the water, you could (almost) imagine you were on holiday on a greek island.

just a hop and skip away, before we checked in to the ellery, we had lunch at elfviks gård where i happily ate fish soup. in sweden, they always get their fish soup just right. we perfused the farm shops too, gorgeous flower shop, refurn vintage shop, and the dairy store. went for a walk around the grounds visiting the animals and then towards the ellery along the water.

the day of our depature, we stopped by millesgården, the home of artists carl milles and his wife olga milles. carl was a sculptor and millesgården today is a museum with an extensive sculpture park of his pieces. inside the art gallery you can find their antique collection and art exhibitions. on this day, the exhibition was showcasing vivienne westwood's fashion designs. it had been many years since i visited and was happy to come with stefan, to swoon over the sculptures.

loving our weekends away so much, we booked a getaway for stefan's birthday to the steam hotel, ellery's sister hotel, for april. stay tuned!