we are 17.

 

tomorrow will be our seventeenth anniversary.  best decision i ever made.

 

that cutie in the middle row looking smart with his brown vest had no idea then he would move to canada and meet his future wife two brief weeks after landing in toronto.  he had no idea he would have to eat copious amounts of homemade italian food to impress his mother-in-law, including pig skin :)  he had no idea he would be a papa to a beautiful boy. 

 

so much happens in seventeen years (lots of goodness to be grateful for that's for sure) and although we don't know what the future holds i hope it will be filled with many more adventures together.

 

to celebrate, we'll be attending spamalot (he loves monty python) and probably eat somewhere delicious.  i hope you have lovely plans for the weekend too. 



the power of empathy

please watch this wonderful animated short feature about empathy.  specifically it teaches the difference between empathy and sympathy.  the ability to imagine oneself in another's shoes is not instinctual for many people.  dr. brene brown explains empathy and sympathy so perfectly and articulately.  she says, "empathy is a choice, and it's a vulnerable choice because in order to connect with you, i have to connect with something in myself that knows that feeling." 

and if you are in the reading kind of mood:

connected parenting through empathic interactions with our children.  jennifer kolari spells out the abc's of empathy.  if you get a chance to see her speak, do so.  otherwise pick up her book.  empathy is a powerful tool and i encourage you to learn it and use it over and over in all of your relationships.  and especially with your children.  it really does work! 

 

what to do when you've made someone angry?  empathize.  simple but not so easy.

what we read influences are ability to empathize.  pick up that alice munro novel :)

 

have a lovely weekend.

noises in the night



image from here



i am a total wimp in my own house.  when stefan is away my bedtime ritual changes. it isn't as easy as shutting the lights and going to bed, many more steps take place.  i spook myself too easy, listening for noises, thinking that a burglar is coming in (we once had a daytime break-in many years ago through the bedroom window followed by an almost nighttime break-in while we were home - we then installed a light sensor!). 

my bedtime ritual when stefan is away: the alarm goes on as soon as kai and i are home even if bedtime is still a few hours away.  when it's finally time for bed i leave the bedroom light on (i have no interest in saving on electricity), i sleep with my glasses on, and i keep the alarm box and phone next to me for easy access.  i will lay in bed until i can no longer keep my eyes open, reading helps for awhile.  it is so exhausting!  i am so glad stefan is coming home tonight.

and i just learned a great tip: "put your car keys beside your bed at night.  if you hear a noise outside your home or someone trying to get in your house, just press the panic button of your car."  it is unlikely the intruder will hang around.  smart idea if you live in a house with the car out front or back but my car is in the underground parking so this tip is not so useful for me but maybe for you?  do you ever get spooked in the night?